Sorry is the Hardest Word – Making Apologies Easy

Dating & Friendship — By 88DB Knowledge on August 8, 2012 5:15 pm

Words are strong and have a lasting effect on people. Especially when it’s hard to say and comes at the price of admitting you were wrong or at fault. While “I’m sorry” may be hard to vocalise, particularly for those who are proud, sometimes, it’s also just not enough. Here, we look at various situations and how to show sincerity when apologizing.

Step 1 – Calm down

Depending on the severity of the mistake, argument or misunderstanding, it is always best to take a step back, breathe and take time to cool off. Sometimes, just a moment is enough; other times, you may need to take a couple of days of no contact. If something seems severe and the act of apologising seems particularly daunting, take heart that several have been before where you are now, because nobody gets through life without mistakes.

“An apology is the super glue of life. It can repair just about anything.” ― Lynn Johnston.

Step 2 – Analyse the situation before you apologise

This may come as a surprise, but how you say sorry is important, and saying it face-to-face may not always be such a good idea. This is particularly true in complicated situations and when the injured party has not completely calmed down yet. Analyse the situation. If you ask for a face-to-face meeting and get refused, don’t push for it. Start off with a carefully worded email or text message first. While it may seem impersonal, it really is simply a way of laying out the foundation for a follow up call or that face-to- face meeting you seek.

i am sorry

Step 3 – The Apology

This is the kicker. The actual apology. Being sincere is a given, and depending on the situation, it will need to be accompanied by actions that speak louder than words. Here are a few suggestions:

Write a letter – As cheesy as this sounds, write a heartfelt letter, explaining the situation and re- confirming the apology. Doing this shows that you understand why the person was upset, thus making your apology sincere and not just empty words. It also gives you time to think about what to say. Writing it also makes it more personal and shows effort.

Get a surprise gift – Very few women are hard enough not to be swayed by a surprise bouquet of flowers and chocolates with an accompanying “I’m sorry” card. If it’s someone close, then make it a treat that you know the person will enjoy or something personal that only the two of you enjoy. For example, tickets to a performance or sports event. This shows you know the person.

Bake or make something – Several claim baking to be therapeutic. There is nothing more comforting than having a batch of freshly baked cookies, scones or muffins made and sent just for you. Alternatively, if you’re useless in the kitchen and are better with your hands and crafts, make something. A simple photo frame with a picture of the two of you together reminds them of the good times you’ve shared and adds a sentimental touch.

Last but not least, remember that apologizing is just the start to healing a rift. Because as hard as it is to say “I’m sorry”, they are still just two little words. Often, the person injured is not looking for an apology just to be vindicated, but to be comforted and helped in healing a wound.

Show you’re sorry with flowers.

Ease the tension and have a relaxing massage with your partner.